Baby, it’s cold outside… just kidding it’s 77 degrees to be exact. But it is still the Christmas season and the number of days to make the perfect gift list is slowly but surely digressing. No fear, this year I have compressed a list every girl in their 20s (and probably any age) really, truly want.
1. To Never Grow Up
I’m a grown up. Just not like a GROWN UP.
2. North Carolina’s Happy Hour Rule To Be Thrown Out
I get we are in the Bible Belt, and I am as much as a believer as any of the men who made this law, but I also would like bars to be able to serve alcohol super cheap for a solid 2 hours. Stop pretending that food happy hour is the same thing as a beer special!
3. Our College Bodies Back
I’m not talking about our freshman 15 body, more the sophomore/junior body once we got the hang of meal plans and going out on the regular but before we gained our real world weight.
4. Speaking of College, Our Hangover Recovery Rate Back
I swear those nights I spent over the toilet promising I’d never drink again if I got through it still doesn’t compare to the hangover headache I get if I consume more that a 2 glasses of wine these days.
5. Time For A Nap. Or 2. Or 10. Or Actually All The Naps
I really took Kindergarten nap time for granted. And for that I am sorry.
6. An Extra Day Of The Week Solely For The Purpose To Netflix
The weekend is not enough. It took me 2 days to watch the new Gilmore Girls and that is just not acceptable.
7. Calorie Free Pizza
If I could create my own heaven I would be surrounded by pizza, able to feast anytime I wanted, without gaining a pound.
8. The Ability to Flawlessly Flirt With Anyone We Find Attractive
Is it weird I can flirt when I don’t even like a guy but clam up like an unattractive walrus when I actually find a guy I like?
9. A Stand-In Date For All the Events You Are Required To Attend This Year
Because right now my only options are 1. going solo and getting drunk enough to not care or 2. bribing one of my guy friends to attend with me and owing them until they stop holding it over my head.
10. No Judgement In the Eyes Of The Jimmy Johns Worker When I Order For The 3rd Time This Week
LET ME LIVE!!!
11. For Your Favorite Celeb To Become Your Best Friend
Two words: Aubrey Plaza
12. To Always Be Rocking The Perfect Tan
Not too pasty, not too Dorito .