How People Who Couldn’t Care Less About Football But Love Parks And Recreation Watch The Super Bowl

Step 1:

When the peer pressure gets too much and your friends are forcing you to partake in the party so you show up like…


Step 2:

When everyone else is stoked and trying to predict the game/ betting on the players and scores and someone ask you who you are pulling for…


Step 3:

The football food comes out and you realize why you are really here. Also that your diet is going out the window…


Step 4:

When you find that one other person who couldn’t care less about the game or sports in general so you start a conversation about literally anything else and the guy 5 inches from the tv tells you to be quiet because you’re distracting everyone else…


Step 5:

You now know that the only way to get through this is alcohol. Lots of alcohol…


Step 6:

The halftime show comes on and you are FINALLY in your element…


Step 7:

The game starts back up and a cute-T-pie walks in that you don’t know and you have drank just enough to pretend that you know what is going on to impress him…


Step 8:

The torture is finally over and you will do ANYTHING to never talk about/ see a football for a long, long time.


Step 9:

The same guy that told you to shut up won’t stop screaming about how his team won and how awesome they are…


Step 10:

You get home and your boyfriend/ roommate/ wife/ best friend/ mother ask you about how much fun and if you are sober enough to make dinner…


Step 11:

You wake up Monday morning getting ready for work and realizing you are not 19 anymore and you shouldn’t have used Tito’s, water, and lime as a coping mechanism for hating football…


Step 12:

It’s lunch time, you are still hungover, possibly still drunk, and you regret all your decisions…



written by: mary


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